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Maria Richards

Winter 2016

Confidence – The Power to Change


Sometimes it’s easy to overlook how much events have affected us negatively and how those effects may be preventing us from moving forward. Sometimes, the reason is far less traumatic and simply a case of the person not recognising their skills and abilities or not knowing how to apply these skills and capabilities effectively.

Some signs you could have low self-confidence are:

Constant self-doubt; avoidance of certain situations for fear of feeling uncomfortable; difficulties speaking confidently; dismissing your own needs or not identifying what they are; disregarding or avoiding beneficial opportunities you would like to seize but find something is blocking you.

Can it be helped?

It most definitely can. The first step is finding out what created your low self-confidence in the beginning. Because in Cognitive Hypnotherapy, we look at the issues that have triggered your problem, yet focus much more on those steps that effectively move you forward towards your solution. Using hypnosis and other therapeutic tools tailored to your needs, you will be supported as you move towards those changes you want in the way you are thinking, feeling or behaving.

There are lots of options for those living with low confidence and it’s upsetting to think that it’s only your mind blocking you from personal growth in your life. But you can get help and by identifying this now and by doing something now, it could prove very empowering!

When it’s only your own mind that is the obstacle, you have a chance to turn that around and move forward, changing into the person you would like to be.

Tips that help us feel more confident:

“We need a sense of self-confidence to drive our aspirations and make them real…”

  1. Keeping up with the Joneses?

Self-confident people don’t have to be like everybody else – they recognise that it can be exhausting trying to be seen ‘as-like’ other people around them. In fact, confidence means feeling more comfortable with being who you are.

By learning to accept your own uniqueness – relaxing with your own way of being and recognising that being different doesn’t mean you have to doubt your decisions, you can begin to discover your personal strengths.

  1. Recognising your personal strengths and confidence

Speaking of which – focusing on your personal strengths regularly, no matter how big or small, is a great way to remind yourself that you have positive attributes. For example, one client was admired by her family and colleges because of her home-made chocolate brownies; another could play any string instrument. It could be the ability to drive, ride a bike, swim, roller skate, make people laugh, be methodical, or show empathy – whatever it is, there will be something you can do that others, maybe even millions of other people, can’t do.

  1. Emotional intelligence and confidence

Handling uncertainty – None of us can know for sure that something will go well. By taking the stance, ‘Whatever happens I’ll be okay!’, we grow an emotional intelligence that is bigger than limiting ourselves through a categorisation of just either ‘success’ or ‘failure’.

  1. Prepare to fail and stay on-top

Being self-confident means being able to relax comfortably, with the certainty that you can handle uncertainty AND even if this means that we sometimes fail, seeing this as a learning process we can utilise when we try again later.

Did you know that Edison failed 10,000 times before he was successful at producing a working light bulb? Thankfully he didn’t stop after his first attempt! Quote: “I’ve not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work!” Moral? Never doubt – self-confident people can smile a little and not take themselves too seriously by learning to manage less successful attempts and not damage their self-esteem. 

“You deserve to be the best you can be.”