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International Men’s Day

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Kristopher Murray DipCHyp, HPD, NLP (prac), MNCH (reg) is a QCH therapist and Neurofeedback specialist. Kris expertly guides those who have encountered existential upheavals that have shaken their core beliefs. His practice is a sanctuary for rediscovery and reconnection, empowering individuals to find renewed purpose and meaning in their lives.

Embracing his own neurodiversity, Kris proudly identifies with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and channels this unique perspective into a specialization: illuminating the strengths and capabilities inherent in each of his clients. 

His approach is not just about coping, but thriving through a deeper understanding of one’s own inherent potential.

Kris’s practice transcends borders, offering both online consultations and in-person in London (UK), as well as the serene surroundings of Colombo and the Galle District in Sri Lanka. For those drawn to the tranquil beauty of Sri Lanka, Kris curates bespoke retreat experiences. These personalized journeys blend the transformative power of Cognitive Hypnotherapy, NLP and Neurofeedback with the restorative practices of Osteopathy, Ayurvedic medicine, Breathwork, and Meditation, among other healing modalities.

Beyond the bounds of therapeutic work, Kris orchestrates an array of immersive activities. Dive into the world of Yoga, ride the waves with Surfing, explore local gastronomy through curated food experiences, and connect with nature on guided tours. Each experience is carefully designed to complement and enhance the therapeutic journey.

Whether you’re seeking to heal, grow, or simply explore the depths of your own consciousness, Kris is your ally and guide on this profound adventure. Reach out to tailor an experience that resonates with your personal path to healing and self-discovery.

For consultations and more insightful conversations, Kris is reachable at kris@sansuntherapy.co.uk

Discover the breadth of his services at www.sansuntherapy.co.uk a resource for those on a quest for self-realization and holistic well-being.

INTERNATIONAL MENS DAY (IMD) 2023

How many roads must a man walk downBefore you call him a man? Bob Dylan – Blowin’ in the wind 1963

When the Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy Practitioners Association (QCHPA) reached out to me with what seemed like a simple request, pen an article by a set deadline. little did they know they were asking for a small miracle. Miracles, as we know, can sometimes be delayed, and so was this article. Why? Because I was holding out for a response from none other than the President of our discussion topic, Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh.

Turning our attention to a subject that resonates deeply within my core and echoes in the experiences of countless others who often endure their struggles quietly.
On the 19th of November, we mark IMD, a day that might not yet be etched into global consciousness like Mother’s or Valentine’s Day, but it carries a weight that is undeniable. It’s a day that has woven itself into the fabric of our yearly rituals for some,
highlighting the complexities and nuances of men’s roles in society. It’s a time to reflect on the journey that led to its creation and the man whose vision brought it to life.

Picture the colourful and dynamic landscapes of Trinidad & Tobago in the 80s and 90s. Here, Dr. Teelucksingh grew up amidst a culture saturated with caricatures of men that were less than flattering. These caricatures painted men uniformly with broad strokes of negativity.

Dr. Teelucksingh recalls, “I was bombarded by the negative images of men. Men were stereotyped as sexual predators, bad fathers, corrupt, rapists, perpetrators of domestic violence, gamblers, alcoholics, and drug addicts.” This relentless tide of one-dimensional portrayals overlooked the everyday heroes, the compassionate fathers, the dedicated workers and community builders.

Fuelled by the desire to dismantle these stereotypes and to celebrate the positive male figures that quietly shape lives, Dr.Teelucksingh saw an opportunity for change. He envisioned a platform, a day specifically dedicated to challenging the prevailing narratives about men, to shine a light on those men who contribute positively to society, and to offer support to those who have been marginalized or misjudged by the stereotypes that have long defined them.

It was from this vision that IMD was born; a beacon for the unsung and a day to stand in solidarity with men from all walks of life.

In the fledgling stages, IMD was like a sapling struggling to root in stony ground. The events in Trinidad and Tobago that spanned from 1999 to 2001 saw sparse attendance, which cast a shadow of doubt over the day’s future viability. This era, rife with anxiety and dashed hopes, could have easily heralded the end of Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh’s endeavour. Yet, conceding defeat was simply not part of Dr. Teelucksingh’s mindset.

Behind the scenes, Dr. Teelucksingh was a maelstrom of activity and determination. He shared with me how he took to his typewriter and wrote letter after letter, reaching out to Government contacts, NGO’s and men’s groups across the globe. It was an attempt not just to kindle interest but to ignite a worldwide dialogue on the state of manhood. This was no small venture—it was a crusade for change, a call to arms to recognize the multitudes within each man, beyond the societal archetypes and into the realms of their true, diverse selves.

His persistence paid off over time. The conversations Dr. Teelucksingh initiated spread far and wide, gradually building a worldwide movement that challenged existing stereotypes. This growth stood as a powerful example of how steadfast dedication and firm conviction can inspire change and influence the global conversation about masculinity.
The date of November 19th was not chosen at random; it resonates with both personal poignancy and national pride. It’s a day that holds a dual significance for
Dr. Teelucksingh, infused with both the memory of a personal hero and a historic moment of collective spirit.

This date marks the birthday of Dr. Teelucksingh’s father, a man who stands as a beacon of integrity and strength in his life. By aligning IMD with this personal milestone, Dr. Teelucksingh invites us all to reflect on the father figures who have shaped our journeys; fathers, uncles, teachers, mentors, all the men who have left indelible impressions on our lives.

Yet, the choice of November 19th stretches beyond personal tribute. It also serves as a homage to a pivotal moment in Trinidad & Tobago’s history; when in 1989, despite a heartbreaking soccer defeat to the USA in the World Cup, a nation found unity in the face of loss. Dr. Teelucksingh recalls the day with a sense of reverence, noting, “It transcended barriers of class, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexuality, and geographical location. I wanted to duplicate that moment in 1989 when a country was united and use it as an illustration or a model for men across the globe to also see the potential of overcoming differences and uniting.”

By intertwining IMD with this potent memory, Dr. Teelucksingh seeks to inspire a global fraternity—a vision where men around the world recognize their shared humanity and the strength that comes from unity, transcending the very barriers that so often divide us.
IMD was born from a vision far more profound than a day of mere festivity. It is anchored in six foundational objectives that are pillars for constructing a safer, more cohesive world. The true essence of IMD is its radical inclusivity; it does not discriminate based on creed, class, or political stripes. Every man is invited to the table as an equal participant in this dialogue for change.

Dr. Teelucksingh sees IMD not just as a day on the calendar but as a powerful instrument for societal transformation. It’s about chiselling away at outdated notions of masculinity, tearing down the walls that hem men into rigid roles, and dispelling the myths that drive wedges between us. Through IMD, Dr. Teelucksingh aspires to cultivate a world where diversity is celebrated and harmony prevails over conflict, where men can exist in their multifaceted truth without fear or critique.
The 6 Pillars of IMD as

  1. To promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and sports men but every day, working class men who are living decent, honest lives.
  2. To celebrate men’s positive contributions to society: community, family, marriage, child care, and to the environment.
  3. To focus on men’s health and wellbeing: social, emotional, physical and spiritual.
  4. To highlight discrimination against men in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law
  5. To improve gender relations and promote gender equality
  6. To create a safer, better world where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential

Upon reflection of the core principles that underpin IMD, it can be perplexing to encounter resistance from some quarters of society that perceive the day as antithetical to Women’s Rights and Feminism. One might wonder if this pushback stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of the day’s intent, or if there are deeper, more divisive motives at play. As someone who practices Stoicism, I’ve learned to approach such opinions with equanimity, recognizing them as perspectives worthy of respect in their own right.

Dr. Teelucksingh himself acknowledges that the mission of IMD is not yet accomplished, remarking, “personally I still feel that IMD has fallen short. There is still more work to be done.” His words underscore a commitment to continual growth and the pursuit of the day’s objectives beyond mere annual recognition.

Although IMD has not reached a level of universal celebration, its influence cannot be denied. The day has found resonance across 93 countries as of 2023, a testament to its growing impact. Yet, for Dr. Teelucksingh, the expansion of IMD is not an end in itself. He views the day as a tool for broader societal healing, one that can contribute to mending the fractures that run deep within and between communities across the globe. His vision for IMD is expansive: a conduit for change, dialogue, and reconciliation on a scale that transcends borders and touches upon the universal human condition.

Dr. Teelucksingh, remains undaunted by the absence of an official nod from the United Nations. For him, the true measure of the day’s triumph lies in its profound impact on the lives of men and their families worldwide, a change that far outstrips the value of any institutional accolade.

IMD invites us all to engage in thoughtful contemplation of the diverse roles that men assume in our lives and the fabric of society. It’s an occasion to honour their myriad contributions, to give voice to their often-unspoken struggles, and to applaud the positive influences they exert in the world. This day transcends a mere calendar mark; it is part of an enduring crusade towards a future where the full spectrum of manhood is acknowledged and esteemed.

On the 19th of November, we celebrate not just the idea of what men can be, but the real, lived experiences and the quiet heroism of the men who touch our lives in myriad ways. Let us raise a toast to IMD as both a salute to the realized promise of masculinity and a guiding light for societal progress.
The observance of the day is not solely a focus on the social roles of men, but a call to address the pressing health crises they face. The day casts a spotlight on sobering statistics that underscore the urgent need for awareness and action.

Consider the stark realities presented by current research:

  1. Men are three times more likely to die by suicide compared to women, indicating a silent epidemic of mental health issues that often goes unaddressed in the male population.
  2. One in three men has been on the receiving end of domestic violence, shattering the stereotype that domestic abuse is a plight only faced by women and highlighting the need for support systems that cater to all victims.
  3. On average, men’s lives are shorter than women’s by 4-5 years, a statistic that speaks volumes about lifestyle, societal pressures, and healthcare disparities that men face.
  4. Men are nearly twice as likely to be diagnosed with lung cancer as women, signalling a need for targeted health interventions and lifestyle changes.
  5. Similarly, the risk of heart disease is significantly higher in men, nearly double that of women, pointing to the necessity of preventative healthcare and education.

These facts paint a picture that cannot be ignored, a picture where men’s health issues demand a collective response and a unified effort for change. IMD serves as a catalyst for this very change, striving to ensure our communities can thrive at their fullest potential by supporting the well-being of all their members.

For those inspired to be part of this movement, to contribute to the dialogue and action that this day represents, more information is available at www.internationalmensday.org here, you can find resources, become involved, and join a global community dedicated to fostering a world where every man has the opportunity to lead a healthy, respected, and fulfilled life.

For those interested in delving further into this conversation, you have the chance to experience a more in-depth discussion with Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh himself.

Visit www.sansuntherapy.co.uk/podcasts for increased awareness and understanding of the day’s significance and the ongoing work towards men’s health and wellbeing.

kris@sansuntherapy.co.uk

You can also find Kris and other QCH practitioners using the therapist finder www.qchpa.com/therapist-finder

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