My Quest Hub
Pandemic Learning & Living
- Articles coming soon
- Anything more than Nothing is Something
- The Freedom of Restraint
- Words on the Way
- Ready Fire Aim
- Difference makes a Difference
- The Problem with Love
- What is Therapy?
- Be Your Destiny's Parent
- Change yourself because
- Life is Hard
- Turn Failure into Success
- Lessons from a Dog #231
- The Disappointment of Personal Development
- Change Who You Are
- Create the Right Time for Change
- Bitter Sweet Mindfulness
- Exploring the Shadows
- Are you holding on or letting go?
- I'm Sixty is it all over?
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- The Benefits of Volunteering
- World Laughter Day - 7th May
- Screen-Free Week, 1st – 7th May 2023
- World Smile Day
- How we can become the best dad we can be whilst maintaining our mental health?
- Kindness is a Superpower
- Coming together despite driving us apart - Therapeutic reflections from teaching during the pandemic
- Grief and Bereavement
- Love is Love
- LGBTQI Information Sheet
- Men's Mental Health
- Freeing the child within
- Learned Helplessness
- How Strengthening your FOUNDATION can change your life
- It’s Time to Talk – How to get men talking about mental health problems?
- Achieving Freedom
- Your Own Natural Pace
- Can't Shan't Won't
- Running - an uphill battle
- Is your Librarian Stressed?
- Why Smiling is Good for You
- You can choose your friends
- Create the Headspace
- Change your Thoughts, Change your Reality
- Belief Triangles
- Are your Red Boxes past their sell by date?
- All you need is Love
- The Spin Cycle of Everyday Life
- Tales of the Unexpected
- Problems come from your past, not your present
- Mind Travel
- Don't Kill your Dragons
- I'm OK are you OK?
- Cannabis: Addiction or Dependence?
- Don't fear change, change your fear
- How to be Certain about Uncertainty
- The Search for Something Bigger
- What have the Romans ever done for us?
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- Personal Insights into a Breast Cancer Journey
- We are all fellow strugglers
- How I healed my OCD
- Work in Process
- Talking for Ted
- Facing your Fears
- The Magic Happens outside the Comfort Zone
- Nearly always look on the Bright Side of Life
- Vision Quest
- On New Year's Day I realised my worst fear
- Embrace your Space
- Tree Uprooted
- Why Cognitive Hypnotherapy?
Metaphor & Poetry
Random Acts of Kindness
- Chaos, Kindness and Satchmo
- You can't get on with everyone..
- Freeze, fight or flight! - choosing an Act of Kindness
- A Friend in Need
- Random Acts of Therapy
- No Time to be Kind?
- Stressing the Kindness
- Can one person make a difference?
- Should Kindness be one of your 5 a day?
- Tame your Teenager with Kindness
- To be Kind or not to be Kind
- What has Honesty got to do with Kindness?
- The Power of Compassionate Listening
- Unexpected Kindness
- How to be Kind at Christmas
- Be Kind - a Revolution in Mental Health
- What IS a Random Act of Kindness?
- Jelly Fishing
- Twelve Random Acts of Kindness
- All the Lonely People
- Oh No Here comes Christmas!
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- Therapy and Autoimmune Disease
- Alcohol Awareness Week
- Cancer is as Much an Emotional Journey as it is a Physical One
- Dry January
- How I healed my OCD
- Sports Hypnosis
- Three Quick and Easy Ideas to Manage Stress
- Cool Ideas for Hot Women
- The Stress Factor
- Thinking Slimmer
- PTSD & Trauma Recovery
- Student Case Study – A Blood Phobia
- Time Travel to Success - a case study
- The Rejection Advantage
- Limited Loop of Beliefs
- Do you need to be liked?
- Arachnophobia - a case study
- Real Hope for Smokers
- My Friend Stress
- Adverse Childhood Experiences
- Addiction Illusions
- Anxiety & Depression
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- The Universal Breath
- Battling Stress
- Menopause, The New/Old Hot Topic
- What Can I Do About Suicide
- Self Harm Factsheet
- What is resilience, and why do we need it?
- 100 Happy Days
- WOOP Goal Setting
- Your Best Interview Mindset
- Small Steps to Big Achievements
- Five Statements
- Manage your Risks
- The Double Age Rule
Watch and Listen
Children & Young People
Connecting with Nature
🤔 Have you heard of ‘learned helplessness’? (I know, awful term…). If so, I bet you’ve only heard half the story. And it’s the 2nd half that’s *vital*:
Seligman, now known for Positive Psychology, used experiments electrocuting dogs (I know…) to evidence ‘learned helplessness’:
Group 1: Do nothing
Group 2: Restrain dogs. Give inescapable electric shocks.
Group 1: put 🐶 in cage. Give electric shock. Dog learns to move to stop pain. *Action is effective*. Repeat x60, dog still takes action. Open cage door, dog leaves cage.
Group 2: put 🐶 (who’s already learned they can’t escape pain) in cage. Shock. Dog is distressed but does NOT move. Repeat x60, still takes NO action. Endures pain. Open cage door, does NOT leave cage. Thus establishing learned helplessness
Have you ‘learned’:
❌ You’re wrong no matter what you do
❌ There’s no point trying
❌ You’re always being told off, criticised, undermined
❌ No matter what you do or how you do it, your environment (incl people) will inflict pain upon you?
As with animals, so with humans, studies show, with this abrasion of hope and agency:
1. motivation to respond decreases
2. even when actions are successful there is a *difficulty in learning* our action *works*
3. anxiety & depression increase
That’s the 1st part. Here’s the *vital* 2nd:
🔐 For the dogs to re-learn to take action, the researchers had to actively *hold their paws* and *move their limbs* away from pain, so they had the lived, embodied, experience of their action being effective.
🤝 Hand by hand 🐾 paw by paw. 👣 step by step. Out of the cage 🕊
So if ✨YOU✨ are struggling, this might be what’s going on. And if you need a hand, that’s 👏 normal 👏 natural 👏 and a path to healing and proper empowerment 👏
Eve Parmiter, Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapist.